Hello all,
It's an absolute pleasure to welcome you to my first blog post on the topic of anxiety. I find it quite fitting that I felt a swirl of anxiety before sitting down to write this—oh, the irony! It's a common misconception that therapists are somehow immune to the emotions and challenges that we help others navigate. The reality is, we're human too, and that means we're not strangers to the occasional bout of anxiety or any other emotional experience for that matter.
You see, anxiety doesn't discriminate; it can affect anyone, from any walk of life, in any situation—even a therapist composing a blog post designed to help others manage the very emotion they're feeling. Before I started drafting this post, my mind was spinning with a variety of thoughts:
“Will I be able to articulate my thoughts clearly?"
“What if I write something stupid?”
“What if I accidentally provide wrong information?”
“What if no one reads it?”
Will this post be helpful?"
Thus, I become stuck… the thoughts keep going around and around in my head…I can’t handle it, so I procrastinate by binging yet another TV show… I avoid the task and don’t write anything at all.
So, the first lesson is: if we let it control us, anxiety can stop us from doing the things in life that we really want to do!
Fortunately, it does not have to be that way. There are tools available to help us cope with anxiety.
First, let’s start with the basics:
Anxiety is a normal physical and mental reaction to a perceived threat. It helps to alert us of possible danger in our surroundings by activating our flight or freeze response.
It becomes a disorder when we become preoccupied with our thoughts, our bodies perceive threats when there are no real dangers, and anxiety prevents us from doing our daily activities and leading the life that we want.
Some signs and symptoms of anxiety include:
● Rapid heartbeat
● Uncontrollable worry
● Sleeping problems
● Feelings of nervousness, panic, or fear
● Muscle tension
● Upset stomach
● Cold or sweaty hands
● Dry mouth
One tool that can help with anxiety is to become aware of our thinking traps (also called cognitive distortions). There are many but here are some of the most common ones (taken from CBT made simple book):
1. Filtering: Noticing the negative aspects of a situation and ignoring the positive.
Example: In a performance evaluation at work, only focusing on the negative feedback and ignoring all the positive comments that were made.
2. Overgeneralizing: Making a conclusion based on one fact (usually negative).
Example: Tripping on the stairs on your way home and thinking: “I am always so clumsy”
3. Black or white thinking: Evaluating yourself and others at the extreme end of things (good or bad, right or wrong, success or failure, etc.). Not allowing for the grey area, the middle ground.
Example: “I will never be good at playing football”.
4. Mind reading: Assuming you know what, a person is feeling and thinking and why.
Example: Your partner comes home upset; you assume they are mad at you because you decided to order pizza instead of Chinese. You did not ask your partner why they were upset.
5. Personalizing: Assuming what other people say or do is about you without any evidence.
Example: Your boss makes a comment about productivity during a meeting, and you assume the comment is about you.
6. Catastrophizing: Assuming the worst possible outcome
Example: Your partner is late coming back home from work. You worry that he might have been in a car accident.
7. Predicting the future: Assuming a situation will turn out badly without any proof.
Example: “No one will show up at my party”
8. Magnifying or minimizing: exaggerating the negatives and the positives is ignored or seen as less important.
Example: A student thinks they are a failure because they received a “C” in math, but they receive an “A” grade in every other subject.
9. Should: Having a set of rules on you and others should act.
Example: You should always be friendly and smile.
On a piece of paper, think about a recent situation that caused you a lot of anxiety.
1. Describe the situation.
2. What were the thoughts circling through your mind?
3. Which of the thinking traps apply?
4. What is the evidence for and against your negative beliefs?
5. What could be other possible explanations for the situation?
Becoming aware of our thought patterns and how they impact us is one of the ways to help us manage our anxiety.
If you feel you would benefit from therapy and you live in Ontario, contact me to schedule a free 15-minute consultation to determine if we are the right fit.
Until next time...
Victoria Emile,
Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying)
References
Josefowitz, N., & Myran, D. (2021). CBT Made Simple (2nd ed.). New Harbinger Publications.
Victoria Emile
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